After 15 years of marriage, Andrea enjoys deeper communication and new heights of playfulness and intimacy.
So 15 years ago I started a new marriage, doing what we thought we should be doing.
We were constantly on each other, touching, having sex all the time like any freshly married couple. But our communication was very poor so a lot of the things that we weren’t able to communicate properly I just stuffed deep inside. New in a marriage of course so much of it is physical and not so much verbal. So over the years a lot of the communication skills that I was lacking caused our relationship to get stale. Flash forward to just over a year ago I still harnessed a lot of hard feelings for my spouse on issues that were 10-15 years old. I had a lot of issues with keeping things to myself and not communicating properly. I was unable to see things from his perspective because I always thought ‘Oh I know how he’s going to react’.
As time goes by we got used to each other and when you have a strained relationship like we had, it was very difficult not only not being able to communicate, but we weren’t being physical anymore and we weren’t understanding each other’s love languages.
Then after going through these sessions and me being able to communicate and get all these things out in the open, not only am I a fresh new person but I have fresh new eyes to see him with.
It is like a brand new relationship. We have public displays of affection that have been lacking in the past and we are very sensual.
Not only are we physical with each other but the communication being there it’s such a deeper relationship than it’s ever been. Not only are we each other’s best friends and lovers, but we also have such a deep connection. We are closer to melding into one being than we’ve ever been is the best way to describe it!
Letting go was probably the biggest part of our time together was me learning how to let all of these things go and not just creating this ball of fire and cancer that was probably eating me from the inside. I’ve prevented that from growing or manifesting itself entirely.
We understand each other so much better now and because of that we understand each other better in the bedroom too which is a plus! And it feels like a fresh new thing with my best friend which honestly is the best thing because I’m not starting over with a brand new person because that is scary. I’m starting over with my spouse and best friend. So it’s the opposite of scary, it’s joyous and wonderful and full of new exciting things that I haven’t really developed or had my eyes opened enough to see before.
So I’m so grateful for this opportunity to get to know my spouse better in not only physical ways, emotional ways but in our communication skills. It’s a deeper relationship than I thought we could ever have or thought possible to even have with another human being.
I had a giant wall up so my expectations were not very high and this has exceeded my expectations with my spouse.
It’s no longer a worry. No longer am I scared that now I have pushed him so far away that it’s irreconcilable. We are closer now than we were at the beginning of our relationship, but closer in the best kind of way. We are mature adults in a mature relationship but now we can be immature with each other and it’s fun again, but it’s fun x 1000.”